somethingtochewon

i abused MOST of my friends last thursday..............

thats not as NEARLY as bad as it sounds IF you keep reading

a super team of super friends pulled off an otherwise impossible move this week
complete with kids, furniture and 6 cats....

one good friend said to me, "well, this is the way you find out who your true friends are."

this is true, however 

holy fuck i hate THAT test of friendships!

you have to stop and ask yourself

why the fuck would they do this for me?

then they remind me (because they are awesome, remember)

"if i was in this position youd help me too"

and YES, fucking right i would

i dont have MUCH but i will always give a friend SOME....

as a matter of fact, if you DONT have good friends that will drop everything to help you

ask yourself why ?

FRIENDS- people that drop everything and RUN to you when you are in need
and if they cant physically be there for you, they make the effort to care and help in other ways......

maybe a phone call or text or email

but they let you know they are pulling for you, they remind you "you CAN do it"

im not blowing my own horn for having such great friends

(then again, my mama always DID say i was a show off)

but i am trying to illustrate a point

my friends rock,

period

my lack of heart attack/aneurism during this last "surprise" move on thursday proves that

SO

todays question.....ask yourself this....

have you gone out of your way for YOUR friends lately?

if you havent, maybe thats why you dont have them when YOU need them..

food for thought, indeed......

Puttingfearinitsproperplace

Fear : a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined......

dare to imagine life with no fear.......

(insert fear when it necessary, not as a daily event)

Wake ups and pity parties(dontinviteme)

"Love is....   never having to say you're sorry."

omg remember THAT crock of shit expression!

Love contains LOTS of "im sorrys" and "you're welcomes" and "i love you's" and xox's.

WHY is LOVE the most primal yet most complicated emotion to master?

I happen to suck at love sometimes, well, fuck i guess we all do.....

I'm lucky enough to have been reminded

that time on earth is sometimes unexpectedly short

i say lucky because some people do not ever grasp that concept until their deathbed

trust me, i certainly didnt feel "lucky" at the time of ANY of these lessons

the lessons i speak of involved losing love ones that passed on too early

i have my father, some VERY dear friends, some family members and a lover

after each loss

a declaration was made that my heart could handle NO MORE! TIME for LOCKDOWN.

Last year after the unexpected loss of a good friend and ex lover

i started waking up feeling like i was dropped out of a plane each and EVERY day .....

he once wrote to me in a letter, "the best way to make your dreams come true is to wake up". (paul valery quote)

i DO know he constantly reminds me to wake up.

finally.

why wait?

wait for what?

is the better question i posed to myself

all pages after his loss are entitled the "LIVE LIFE LOUD" chapter of my life.

You cant always get what you waa-aant, you get what you need........ (stones, amen)

Love is a battlefield. Pat Benatar said that. Truer words, never spoken, bitch.

Love is light and love is trust. Love is good and love is just............a game?

maybe to some.....

sometimes complicated things are actually very simple,

love is wanting to make someone else happy because that in turn makes YOU happy

love, sometimes is just BEING there for someone.

if you suck at love (like me)- TRY HARDER!

it is so VERY worth learning to do right <3

Happy "Everyday should be Valentines day" Day!

ill check back soon

XXX

Feedyoursoul

feed your soul with love when you can

nourish your brain with knowledge hourly

test your limits daily

dream BIG ALWAYS

rinse

lather

repeat

XXX

Randomthoughtsoflight

I think
when we are young
our heart GLOWS but only certain people can SEE it

the lucky few FEEL it as it happens
the lucky few ENJOY the majick of childhood

as we get older
our heart dims
as it experiences loss
and
hurt
our inner light doesnt shine as bright as it once did

LUCKILY

one of the things that rekindle that spark
is love

the mysterious inner "light" or "source" or "peace" that people speak of ....
IS love

in life, when the heart awakens, our light starts to shine through again

inner peace is when ALL the inner mind conversations you have with yourself STOP

we are all creatures of habit, why not make it a HABIT to develop inner peace?

we don't
BECAUSE

it takes
time
and
patience

The more tranquil a man becomes, the greater is his success, his influence, his power for good.
 Calmness of mind is one of the beautiful jewels of wisdom.
- James Allen -

people forget how to NOT think when they dont have to..... in short, they lost the art of relaxing.

some people have a thought for almost every phrase or sentence they hear in the run of a day.

Some of us have a thought for every image we view
or scent we smell
or song we hear.

mind overload- its like carrying a giant, heavy, overflowing SUITCASE (or purse) for no reason
the body gets to its "NO WAAAAAAAAAAAY, NO MOOOOOOOOOOOORE" point JUST as the mind starts to play tricks on you

focus-GONE  - fuck you, says your brain- no more thoughts.....sleep maybe.....maybe NO SLEEP (the brain wins most of its own tricks)

i am stubborn
i like to choose my thoughts carefully
not have my brain empty the file cabinet of worry/memory and problems every few hrs onto the cement floor

HAHAHAHAHAH i hope you laughed

chat again soon

im tired and i have a man in my bed.......

XXX